Twists and Time
by BexyLexi
Summary: She knows she ought to be having the time of her life, but Rose is beyond miserable while the 11th Doctor plunges ahead towards a shared, awkward and uncertain future. A rip in the universe may be the chance for the adventure they desperately need, or just cause more trouble, isn't that always the way?
1. Reckoning

A revival of something I wrote a little of a few years ago. I'm not entirely sure this 11th is perfectly represented by Matt Smith but if it works for you. This was probably written pre-11th.

Disclaimer: Not my genius, nothing here is mine, just a little artistic liberty no legal entanglements.

Please R and R!

* * *

 **Twists and Time**

* * *

 **Reckoning**

Why is the universe so messed up? This was just one of the many miserable things she pondered during those downward days. The days she prayed to see end yet couldn't bring herself to drive home that final nail. Why did it have to be like this? Nothing was the same, yet he expected her to blithely carry on regardless. It was like being stuck in a kind of excruciating limbo, bittersweet torture filled her days now, though not at the hands of some new species of alien they'd accidently offended by saying thank you, well not every day. No this was just some sick twist that fate was playing on her, sure that some higher being was having a good laugh at her expense, Rose scowled again. She was also going to give herself premature wrinkles doing that which pissed her off further.

The Doctor, there was the crux of everything. Disgusted that he continued to have such a huge effect upon her she tried desperately to think of something else, anything to rid her mind of the same monotonous depressing thoughts that spiralled out of control every single day now.

Why had she stayed again? She struggled now to find all those reasons she'd carefully catalogued when he had regenerated this time. Only able to find one reasonable excuse for hanging around.

She couldn't go back. Who the hell could go home after seeing what she'd seen? Knowing what was out there and having no clue what calamity was headed their way next? Not that she was especially eager to see the Earth in grave danger, again, but these days it wasn't so much an if something else happened, but rather when it would happen and what now? The offer from U.N.I.T. flashed into her mind then, she had options, and would have some say at least, not relegated to the side-lines with all the other pathetic creatures on the planet, hurtling helplessly close to another possible extinction.

So, there it was, the stark truth laid bare, she couldn't bear to go home, the lure of space and adventure and being there too much to leave behind, yet it meant putting up with his incredible ridiculousness over there. The 11th Doctor, or thereabouts? Who knew these days, it was far too confusing for her little ape mind to comprehend. The word ape briefly making her smile. The promise of chips and all that running. Fantastic.

But nothing is meant to last forever, and for better or worse Rose had stayed, a companion in the loosest most detached sense you could imagine. And nothing was the same.

Regeneration was always going to be difficult. Things had changed when he'd changed that first time, the tenth was not him, but she'd fallen for him again. In spite of herself, she had fallen and he in turn had let himself have her. Allowed himself the love and joy that he hadn't been able to previously; the guilt of war too much to bear.

But it was all gone. She hadn't really thought it was possible, or she had, in the darkest recesses, the fears that she kept locked away, but not that she would see it. Had thought that first regeneration she had witnessed had been a terrible fluke, not to be repeated for a very long time. Not to be. It really wasn't, the 11th was different. He might be the Doctor by name, but he wasn't her Doctor. He had no love for her, friendship and a vague fondness which Rose found incredibly hurtful and quite unbelievable considering the things they had got up to, how close they had been once upon a time…

She shivered even now at the memory, this Doctor, the all-knowing arse, looked up frowning; he still had that disturbing ability to know what she was thinking about, just as him of old, and he sighed, shook his head slightly and carried on at the console as if nothing had happened. He had of course explained regeneration again afterwards, that he changed, some things changed more than others. And apparently this one was one of those times.

They didn't chat like before, didn't hold hands as before, Rose almost missed that the most of everything. Feeling connected to him, holding his hand had become a symbol of them together, travelling through time and space, just them, alone against the universe and it had given her, them both, that necessary connection to life, to each other, alongside the intimate side of their relationship, the hands remained together at every possible moment. Necessary or not.

But now it didn't happen, and in all honesty, she didn't want it to. There was nothing there, holding hands was pointless, like ignoring or delaying the inevitable.

But she stayed with him anyway, too afraid of what might happen otherwise, not able to go back to Earth, to the humdrum existence she had left behind, how many years ago was it now…seven? It seemed longer, maybe it was.

The bang and shudder that resounded around them was the first real threat they'd found in weeks. Rose shouldn't have felt such a thrill, but this situation did nothing if not make her an enthusiastic voyeur of risk and terror. They'd hit an inter-dimensional temporal hole apparently and ended up somewhere else. He didn't know where, and that mildly surprised him. It also scared her more than she would have thought, but then her trust in this Doctor was seriously dampened.

He stumbles into the explanation as usual. And someone else he didn't expect. Another TARDIS was involved. At first, _he_ had thought he'd crossed his own timeline again, several signs pointed to that, but the incredible crash and quake that had run through the ship indicated otherwise.

So, _he_ departed through those blue doors, to seek out assistance from the timelord out there. She didn't know if she could handle seeing and getting to know yet another him, IF it was him at all, Rose still sceptical of his status as the last. It was a helpful distraction for but a minute, and she tried not to consider it being another him and the inevitable, that they would leave, and she would have to say goodbye, again. For some reason the notion that it could be numbers nine or ten hadn't fully registered. Perhaps she hadn't wanted to get her hopes up.

She hadn't been prepared.


	2. Ninth Degree

**Ninth Degree**

* * *

It was all over the place and as usual, so was she.

He came back in a short while later, looking a bit off, weird, worried even and when he looked at her, she thought she saw something in those eyes, a spark of familiar feeling, but it was fleeting, he was speaking the next minute and the flicker had died again.

She hadn't been listening, something happening more and more much to his disapproval, but he made no comment on that either. More than content to keep his mouth shut, for whatever reason. Perhaps they were the same as hers, neither wishing to admit defeat despite the painfully obvious.

"Um sorry?" She asked, too many silent seconds ticking away, finally realising he was saying something that required replying to. She wondered how long he had been waiting, finding that far too funny in a perverse kind of way, a giggle threatened to bubble up into her throat.

"I said," He started again, sounding more than slightly annoyed, "Rose, now, I think it best you stay in here." His mollifying tone and the suggested exclusion immediately made her suspicious.

"Why?"

"Bit dangerous out there, unstable, interdimensional rip in the universe, no small matter you know, nothing to worry about though, you stay here."

"Too dangerous, for me? That's never bothered _you_ before." She stated, and he winced at her accusing inflection.

"Ah well of course it has, just now it's probably best you stay in here, nothing safer than the TARIDS you know, so yes, stay here."

Again, Rose was filled with doubt. He was keeping something from her, had never been great at lying to her, even in this incarnation. She narrowed her eyes and saw him steel himself for a fight. But it never came. She let it go. He looked surprised. She shrugged and turned around, hoping to bluff her way through this and pretend she was a good girl who did as she was told. Well, she'd never responded well to rules, and ones from this Doctor were good for nothing, fit to be broken.

He'd gone back to tweaking machinery, sometimes going out for lengthy periods of time. It was bloody obvious he was talking to whoever was in the other TARDIS, danger, yeah right. Did he think she was stupid?

She said goodnight and carried off all the pretence of going to bed. But she didn't get changed, just sitting by the door, hoping to hear the Doctor withdraw to his room. Though he didn't sleep much he often retreated there for contemplation or meditation. It took a while, but eventually she heard a still achingly unfamiliar tread on the floor and knew when he'd gone. It might only be for a few minutes and possibly her only chance to find out what the hell was going on, why he seemed so keen to keep her from it. It made her heart ache suddenly again, as she thought of just how badly this Doctor knew her, how could he forget her, forget what she was like? But then, how can someone just stop loving another? An equally interesting question, but she knew why, had been told ad-infinitum, he was different, he was changed. And in that moment, when she'd known he really was so very different this time, her heart had broken, and she'd changed too.

* * *

She got to the console room and slipped through the TARDIS doors. There was very little to see really. The bare tundra landscape could have been anywhere, even earth, and the planet they were on could have been densely populated or completely barren of all life. No real way to tell, it looked to be the middle of nowhere either way. Very little vegetation and contrary to what her internal clock was telling her the suns were shining a bright cheerful morning light. She blinked against it until her eyes adjusted, enough to see the only thing that was out there. It was an identical TARDIS, stuck chameleon circuit and all. She'd expected that, now all she had to do was go in, and…see? See what exactly? See who it was, came the reply, anything was better than not knowing, she simply wasn't made for sitting around doing nothing. And since _he_ wasn't telling her anything and was in fact most definitely lying to her she had to find out and help if she could. Though that was unlikely, none of the Doctor's had liked her 'helping' with the TARDIS and she was lucky if he let her assist him to fly her occasionally; but she was guessing this wasn't simply a TARDIS problem.

She stepped tentatively towards the other, feeling suddenly very nervous. Pressing forward anyway. The door wasn't locked; no need for it she supposed. And she stepped inside as quietly as she could; clicking it behind her she took in the cavernous interior. Something was very familiar, but then it was the TARDIS, her home for a long time now, would probably be familiar whichever him was within it. But she suddenly had this sick feeling in her gut. A worrying yet bittersweet realisation was dawning on her now, as her eyes lay upon a leather jacket draped across one of the railings. He heart skipped a beat and felt like it was falling, on and on, and she prayed that someone would catch it and her.

"You're back then?" There came a voice from the other side of this console, "You find anything or you too busy lying to _your_ companion?" He sneered, sounding so bitter. She ached at the sound anyway, how long had it been now? Too long, this was all she had thought about for a while, particularly recently.

What had _he_ been saying then? No doubt some stupid crap about interference and not knowing too much about the future or whatever other nonsense he was so fond of spouting. But then, that couldn't have been right, there was no future here with this one, her Doctor, so it begged the question, where was she? Was another Rose somewhere in this TARDIS completely oblivious to what was going on? She didn't remember being stuck still for very long when with him, so maybe he hadn't met her yet. She didn't know whether that idea was more or less painful than the simple act of standing in his presence.

This Doctor, not having heard a reply paused in his tinkering.

"Come one then; spit it out, anymore bright ideas?" Silence.

She couldn't seem to move, was stuck there, knowing nothing good would come from this meeting, and that she'd probably finish up heartbroken all over again.

"I…" She couldn't say it, whatever had been stuck in her throat. The noises he had resumed making under the console stopped with the loud clatter of some instrument dropping to the floor.

There was a scrambling noise and his face appeared on the other side of the room, peering at her in a mixture of amazement and, she wasn't sure if that look was abject joy or horror.

"Rose?"

"god, Rose." He breathed her name, softly, still staring at her. She struggled to control the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

"I'm sorry." She said, her voice cracking with the effort to not start crying. "I…"

"Rose."

She smiled at him then, "Yeah, you said that already."

He looked slightly abashed. "I'm sorry, you okay?" He looked concerned but was still staring at her in that deconstructive disconcerting way. As it was her heart banged rapidly within her as he came forward. He looked so cautious, like he didn't want to scare her away.

"Would you like to sit, you sure you okay?"

"I didn't say did I, I dunno, I'm okay," She caught sight of her hands which were shaking and immediately folded them underneath her. He must have noted this too; his eyes did not rise to meet hers for a few more seconds.

She looked at him; their bodies so close; she could feel the heat emanating through his jumper and just ached to bury her head in his chest and have him hold her like old times.

She finally found her tongue again,

"Sorry, I know I'm not meant to be in here? _He_ said anyway," She inclined her head and her tone must have told him a lot. He raised an eyebrow,

"You didn't listen," She smiled cheekily and inclined her head to consider his expression, he didn't look annoyed, more amused.

"No, I didn't listen, me and rules…" She smirked and shrugged,

"I remember." He replied quietly, her heart plummeted.

"So, um, you know me then yes?" Please let it be yes. He was completely taken aback.

"Of course I do." She seemed almost to breathe a sigh of relief as he stood up to face her, looking a bit puzzled.

"You thought I wouldn't know you?"

"I wondered yeah, I suppose you never know with time, in time, whatever. I just, had to see you; that's all, sorry."

"Why you saying sorry? I'm not bothered, I mean, I'm glad you did."

"I didn't know who was out here, _he_ wouldn't tell me anything, knew something was up though cos he's, well you've always been a terrible liar, to me anyway." She bit her lip, those hadn't been easy times either but at least they'd had each other.

"Oi, who says I'm a terrible liar, I'm brilliant at poker me."

"Poker, yeah right." She nudged him slightly, it seemed such an automatic and natural movement, it was only a second later that she realised something was weird. He wasn't moving again and was staring at her strangely. Something was most definitely going on.

She looked her him, her head tilted sideways, considering him; her expression let him know exactly what she was wondering.

"Nothing," He said quickly, too quickly.

"What?" She asked, still wondering, he looked guilty, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.

"Nothing," He repeated.

"Nothing what? Don't give me that, like I said, terrible liar, terrible bluffer, out with it." He looked at her then, so directly into her eyes, so intense and deep a look that she shivered, an utterly amazing feeling making its way down her spine. He looked so sad and vulnerable, and seemed to be looking at her with something akin to awe and reverence. It scared her a little, but that incredible feeling, my word she wanted more of that.

She stood up abruptly and moved to stand opposite him, looking him up and down. Trying to figure out what was going on.

It was then that it happened, she realised what it meant to be standing there looking at him again. And it was too much. She really hadn't been prepared. Maybe this hadn't been her brightest idea, she couldn't deal with this.

Her legs gave way as her face crumpled, despite trying to stop the tears, it didn't work. The next second she was kneeling on the grating and sobbing. The Doctor had never been able to deal with seeing Rose so upset, he was almost immediately upon her, crouching down and taking her in her arms, which alarmingly only served to increase her upset. Savouring how wonderful she felt against him, how amazing it was to hold her at all. Until slowly, her sobs diminished and gave way to a calmer few moments where she seemed to cling onto him for dear life.


	3. Elucidate

**Elucidate**

* * *

She knew she held on too tightly, almost like he might disappear. It was then he realised how dreadful things must have been for her, regenerations were never easy, but she seemed so overwhelmed by his presence, as much as he was with hers? It made him wonder.

Rose felt vaguely calmer, and then seemed to be hit by several things.

She was in the Doctor's arms.

She was holding on to him like her life depended on it and she was simultaneously elated and mortified to be making such an exhibition of herself. This wasn't her Doctor after all, but then, he was. Ugh, her head was starting to hurt.

The other thing came to her more slowly as various things he had mentioned came together and didn't fit right.

She pulled slowly away, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry," She said, not really meaning it just needing to say something.

"You okay?" He asked for the umpteenth time. She shook her head,

"Not really," Answering truthfully, she looked at him, he looked sympathetic, was it possible he was feeling something of the same, but then it hit her with some force.

"Hang on," She started, his puzzled expression staring back at her. She suddenly knew why things weren't quite right here. "If you know me, where am I?"

"What do you mean?" He asked feigning ignorance, clearly stalling for an explanation.

"You know what I mean, you said you knew me, so, you've met me, where am I right now?" He struggled to meet her eyes again now, which only confirmed to Rose that something was slightly weird.

"Err you're…"

"Yes?" She asked now giving him the look that said gotcha, tell me the truth.

"You're back on Earth; I've only met you once for a couple of hours. You helped me fight off the Autons…" He explained, looking quite pleased with himself. She stared at him incredulously.

"And what, you expect me to believe you were about to go back and ask me to come with you for a second time, when all this happened?!" She spoke harshly, spitting out the words which left him with no doubt as to what she thought of his excuse.

He tried to nod but the look on her face halted him halfway.

"You're lying, why are you lying?" She further accused him, suddenly feeling a bit hurt that he could so easily lie to her like this. Something definitely wasn't right here.

"Rose, I…" He started but she quickly interrupted,

"No! Don't say anymore, I don't want to hear it! I can't deal with lies from you too, from indifference, you're my Doctor, and you can't do this to me!" She sounded commanding and desperate with it, she couldn't stop the new tears forming and falling.

At this point the Doctor shook himself and realised how wrong this was. He took her reluctant form into his arms again, but now he seemed to be the one clinging on to her. How had he managed to live so long without her?

"I'm so sorry," He sounded as if he was upset now, and that got her attention more than anything. What was going on? Everything was mental; everyone was acting strangely and trying to lie to her. She needed explanations, what she needed was the truth.

She found she couldn't say anything, he was clearly unhappy, uncomfortable, so she simply had to wait to be put out of her misery or impatience as it were.

They sat on the cold industrial floor a while later, neither had been able to say anything more, and had sat in companionable silence for a while, though Rose thought she could feel some tension rising again. His breathing had changed,

He started talking quite suddenly though, taking her by surprise,

"Rose, the reason, you aren't here, with me, is…" He sounded tired and resigned, and so very sad. She leaned forward, but he held up his hand, halting her, "No, Rose, don't, I…can't…"

She moved back again, feeling hurt, he didn't want her…? Ah but surely, he had his own Rose?

He looked her straight in the eyes, and something powerful and frightening seemed to grab her for a second, it was dark and for that moment she wasn't anywhere familiar anymore.

"Rose you aren't here because you are dead."

And with that she was abruptly pulled back to the present, the real. And she wasted no time in starting to freak out.

"What?!" She shrieked, after finally getting the use of her voice back, her stunned silence well over now, as a rapidly overwhelming something attempted to drown her.

"What? How? You just…don't understand? How could...?" He rubbed her shoulders in a way that may have been meant to soothe her; well it wasn't going to work. She shrugged his hands off, no distractions.

"How the bloody hell can I be dead?! I'm right here, aren't I? Don't I feel real to you? Look real! Feel real!" She pinched herself hard on the arm and immediately regretted it.

The Doctor struggled to summon the right words, and had equal difficulty taking advantage of a pause in Rose's ranting, since there were precious few.

"R…"

"What the bloody hell is going on? I need the truth here, just try to explain what the hell you meant by saying I am dead!" She stopped, and took a quick breath, obviously out of breath from her frantic freaking out session.

He put his hand on her shoulder, the other one resting on her cheek,

"Rose, I will, just, calm down, please." The look he gave her was just too endearing to ignore so she took a few more breaths and felt a little better.

"Don't give me that look, you can't dump that on me and leave me hanging." Her eyes desperately searching his face for some comfort, for his explanation. He sighed,

"Of course I'm not going to leave you hanging, how about a brew first? Am sure that'll help." Rose knew it was all delay tactics, but she bore it this time, tea was probably a good idea. Sitting down 5 minutes later she looked up to find him watching her with that strange expression again.

"Yes?" She responded expectantly.

"Nothing, nothing, no problems here." Ha! He wasn't fooling her.

"Doctor."

"Rose."

Both voices a similar tone of warning. He sighed, defeated.

"The first thing you need to know is that both our TARDIS' or at least 1 of them, have somehow slipped through a small tear in the fabric that separates dimensions." Here he paused, letting his words sink in and her understanding blossomed, her eyes wide.

"So," She started slowly, "This is an alternate dimension." He made a non-committal noise and moved his hand in a vaguely maybe kind of gesture.

"Possibly, it might be yours, might be mine, it might not belong to any of us. Certainly, we do not all belong here at the time same."

"Some of us don't belong anywhere anymore," She shook her head as if to shake the grip of gloom that was threatening. And quickly moved on, with false brightness, "We got stuck on an alternate Earth once, was well weird."

"He mentioned that yeah, similar thing but at least you knew it wasn't your Earth pretty much straightaway. It's trickier finding reference points on a barren hole in the middle of nowhere, universe middle of nowhere too." She nodded.

"But we will find a way, always do!" His over enthusiastic cheeriness just making him sound insincere.

"So, hang on, different dimensions, similar but not the same. You aren't my Doctor, and I'm not your Rose?" This wasn't quite what she had expected somehow, but the ache remained nonetheless, the pain ever-present no matter the fine detail. It still felt like him.

"More or less," He shrugged carelessly in an effort to disguise the obvious discomfort this was causing him. He had always been good at maintaining those emotional barriers.

"Oh, right, I suppose that explains why…" She didn't dare say the words out loud again.

"Yes." Was all his clipped tone came back with, he was definitely shutting down again, she could see all the familiar signs. And hated that it was mostly her own doing.

"I'm sorry," She looked down into her mug, hoping to find some answer from within its limited depths.

"Not your fault is it." She made a face at that,

"If I hadn't been such a nosey cow and just had to come here and see for myself then you wouldn't be feeling this bloody miserable what with me reminding you of her and the pain it causes when people go…away." She finished this speech uncertainly, it was an interesting parallel, the Doctor hadn't died had he, but in changing almost everything about him it almost was like he had passed. Part of him was no more. Her part.

The silence that enveloped them was neither suffocating or awkward. It just was. Both comfortable to be there with the other, perhaps more than they had any right to feel. It numbed the pain a little, Rose knew it was not to last. But she dared not ask any more probing questions, no matter how curious she was. Morbid curiosity would most certainly not do her any good here.

"It's not been easy has it?" He asked suddenly, almost out of nowhere.

"What? Oh, well no, pretty much everything has been a big pile of…that's life I suppose."

"That was never the life I wanted for you when I asked you to come along…" She shrugged this time.

"I know that, the universe, time, space, it's all just as messed up as everybody in it." He gave her a weak grin.

"I don't know which was worst, that first time you, he changed, I had no warning. Nothing to prepare me. A bit like this, only this time I should have used my imagination, it was bound to be something messed up again, ha." She smiled, "At least here, I get to see you again," She finished, her voice quieter now, afraid that the moment was almost gone. He grinned then,

"Best thing ever then." If only he knew.

"Yeah," She agreed somewhat more demurely than usual, "It is. You might not be my Doctor, but not caring about silly minute details, ways you aren't him, you still feel like mine…" She let her thought trail off, feeling conscious of his intense scrutiny.

"Indeed."

"More yours than his." Rose whispered this, hardly daring to think it let alone say it. She'd always had a talent for putting her foot right in it.

"Hmhmmm," The intrusive throat clearing of a certain stuck up timelord startled them just precisely how he had intended it to. "Well, well, well, I do hope I'm not interrupting anything." The sarcasm practically dripped off the eleventh Doctor's words as he slammed the door behind him.

"Oi, I'd thank you to remember this is MY TARDIS and she doesn't appreciate your heavy-handed tantrums."

"Oh, oh MY tantrums?!"

"Yes I believe so, what is going on?"

Rose looked from one to the other, feeling rather helpless, not to mention torn. Nine was giving him looks of barely disguised loathing and he was attempting to give a front of frank indifference. His actions however, were speaking just as loud as his words, he wasn't fooling her, he was clearly bothered about something. This wasn't quite the reaction she had predicted.

It was Rose who tried to break the razor-sharp tension in that room.

"We were talking, I don't know what kind of catastrophe you were expecting but I don't think chatting qualifies for triggering the emergency protocol." She hadn't meant it to sound quite so twisted but found she couldn't help herself.

His eyes on her now, slightly kinder now,

"You know this is not really Nine? Not our Nine. He's not me." At this she gave him a piercing almost brutal look,

"Right! I know that now but thanks for the input! The thing is, you're not Nine either are you? So, what's your point?"

He rolled his eyes and she was not impressed.

"Just look at the two of you, emotional fools that's what you are, this is why, this wasn't a good idea, I told you didn't I?"

At this Rose couldn't help but see red, again.

"You told me it was dangerous! You lied to me, what the hell gives you the right…"

"It was dangerous! To your already fragile mental health." This was not said with great conviction, likely his great big brain had already clued him in to the fact that it wasn't a clever thing to say out loud.

"What?!" "What!" Was exclaimed by both Rose and Nine.

"Now wait a minute!" Rose held up her hand to put a pause on the retribution Nine was probably already planning.

"I think not! You lied because it was easier for you! No fuss no muss, can't bother Rose with anything too real, she's already a great thorn in my side…"

"Ridiculous!" He scoffed but there was an undercurrent at work here. Rose wasn't sure what exactly yet.

"Hey, that's enough! You're like a pair of children! Grow up! Perhaps your most recent face holds more significance in that area…" He let the question hang in the already charged atmosphere, while Eleven scowled.

"Definitely enough!" Rose glared now at Nine as well. Feeling like the disciplining school teacher.

Eleven cleared his throat again, with slightly less aggression this time.

"If you're quite finished we can dispense with the soap opera theatrics and perhaps get back to the matter at hand?"

Both Rose and Nine gawked at him, unimpressed with his assessment and the associated implications. Honestly, all this for a little chat. And it's not as if he was completely blameless the silly wotsit.

Nevertheless, it galled them both that there was a smidgeon of truth in his words; they all needed to focus.

Somehow.

* * *

Please R and R?


End file.
